1st Mate Forum | Sailing For The Son

Rescue, Rehab, Release

During our time in Marathon, Florida, my husband, Bill, and I toured The Turtle Hospital. Their motto: Rescue, Rehab, Release. The Turtle Hospital is a veterinary hospital for sick and injured sea turtles. They are a nonprofit organization rescuing and rehabilitating turtles (including surgery, if needed), then releasing them back into the ocean, solely funded by you, me, and others who love turtles.

Our tour was facilitated by Kris, a Turtle Educator. Kris was knowledgeable and engaging. We were impressed with how Kris knew the names of the turtles and even talked about their individual personalities and preferences.

Kris taught us a lot about the dangers that humans pose to sea turtles. Turtles can get caught and entangled in fishing line and nets. Turtles unable to free themselves will often end up losing a flipper or losing its life. Plastic and other trash left on the beach or thrown in the water are hazardous. When turtles eat plastic it can get lodged inside of its stomach or intestines. Sometimes, although not always, The Turtle Hospital is able to help rescued turtles who have ingested plastics by performing surgery or administering medication. So, no more plastic straws, plastic bags, or balloons on the beach! Sea turtles nest on the beach. We must be careful not to disturb turtles or their nests when we come across them, as it is estimated that only 1 out of a thousand hatchlings will survive to adulthood. Boat strikes are another danger to sea turtles. When boating, always watch for turtles and other marine animals and give them a wide berth. If you do witness a turtle or other marine animal in distress please call The Turtle Hospital, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, or the US Coast Guard.

Florida is home to five species of sea turtles: Hawksbill, Green, Leatherback, Loggerhead, and Kemp’s Ridley, with the Loggerhead being the most common. All five species are considered vulnerable or endangered; therefore, it is illegal to touch them or disturb them. I love to watch sea turtles, I love to wear sea turtle jewelry, and I even kissed a picture of a sea turtle on the lips, but I promise I’ll never touch or harass one.

Sea turtle ring I bought at The Turtle Hospital

Do I hear you wondering how you can you help support The Turtle Hospital? First and foremost: live a turtle-friendly lifestyle! This means everything from not littering (especially on the beach and in the water), picking up trash that others may have left behind (especially plastics), refraining from touching or otherwise harassing sea turtles, donating to The Turtle Hospital (including purchasing tour tickets and items from the gift shop or “adopting” a turtle), opting for the sea turtle license plate if you reside in Florida, or volunteering at the hospital. I’m sure I can’t even think of all the ways you can help, so please visit their website for more information (the turtle hospital.org).

Ambulance bought with proceeds from the sea turtle license plate

There are lots of other organizations doing good work that benefits sea turtles either directly or indirectly. The organization 4ocean cleans trash from oceans and rivers every day. Ocean and Company works to rid the oceans of plastic. You can help by buying cute bracelets from both of these organizations to support their efforts and to remind yourself to continue living a turtle-friendly lifestyle. There are many other organizations also supporting the turtle population; I’m confident you can find at least one that piques your interest!

Bill and I have done a fair bit of sailing the last few years and enjoy watching turtles every time we get the chance. I remember sitting in the cockpit of our sailboat in Marsh Harbor, Abaco, simply enjoying the sea turtles as they swam by. We also saw lots of sea turtles while kayaking in the British Virgin Island. So much fun! I also remember happening upon a huge turtle while kayaking off Waikiki Beach, Hawaii, with our daughter, Kate. She was a bit alarmed!

I know that we can’t all dedicate our lives to helping sea turtles; however, we can all do our little part.

Genesis 1:28 God grants Adam and Eve dominion over all animals in creation, along with the expectation that we will care for them. “God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

I’m going to pick up some trash trash today and dispose of it properly. What are you going to do today to support our sea turtle friends?

Manatee Musings

My husband and I love Bill Baggs Cape Florida State Park in Key Biscayne. Immediately following Christmas 2020, our friends, Steve and Susan, joined us at the park for a week of adventure and relaxation on Liberty, our 38 foot sailboat. We love vacationing with Steve and Susan, they are as fun as they are funny. Steve is adventurous and pretty much game for anything, and Susan, well, let’s just say that she loves being stretched outside her comfort zone!

Susan and I waited for a calm day to kayak around the harbor because we really wanted to see colorful fish swimming in the mangroves that surround No Name Harbor, which is part of the park. We had already seen a dolphin in the harbor, and heard rumors of manatee, but we didn’t know that we were in for a real treat! As we paddled off, Susan mentioned something about not kayaking into any dark caves like we did in the BVI. I simply smiled knowing that there are no caves in this harbor.

Susan and I had only been paddling for about 10 minutes when I saw a manatee about 10 feet in front of us stick his nose out of the water to take a breath! No sooner than I spotted that manatee Susan looked down and saw a second manatee directly under our kayak! I admit that seeing a 10 foot sea cow, that clearly weighed several hundred pounds, directly under our kayak was a teeny tiny bit alarming, but I wasn’t about to let Susan know that I thought so! We slowly backed away and no one was any worse for the wear. Then Susan said, “New rule, no kayaking on top of manatee!” She’s so funny. Seriously though, Susan and I sat in our kayak and just watched the manatee for what must have been half an hour.

West Indian Manatee can be found along the East coast of the United States, as well as the Gulf of Mexico. I am a native of Iowa and had never even heard of a manatee until 2018 when I spent some time in Charleston, South Carolina. Manatee are not exactly what I might call cute and cuddly, but they are gentle giants that I really enjoy watching as they swim by. By “giant”, I mean that the average manatee is 10 feet long and weights between 800 and 1200 pounds. Maybe what fascinates me is that manatee are herbivores. They spend most of their time slowing swimming around, eating aquatic plants and resting. Now how on earth does Mandy Manatee grow to 1200 pounds on a diet of salad alone? It’s a crazy mystery! The water in this part of Florida is a beautiful blue/green color and very clear. It is easy to see eight to ten feet down, so if a manatee is near, you’ll see it! I took the three pictures above while walking along the sea wall when a manatee was swimming along side it. If the manatee is further away when you spot it, you may simply see the nose stick up out of the water to breathe (they take a breath every three to five minutes), or you may see it come up and dive back down like the picture below. I spend a lot of time sitting in the cockpit of our boat just watching for dolphin and manatee.

Following our manatee sightings, we continued kayaking along the mangroves in search of tropical fish. We weren’t very successful in that quest; however, we did see several large iguana sunning themselves on the branches. At one point, we were directly underneath the green iguana while attempting to get close enough to see the orange iguana. Yikes! As if on queue, Susan said, “New rule, no kayaking underneath iguanas-they could jump on me!” Pretending that I didn’t share her concern (because I love teasing her), I replied, “Susan, new rule: no making up new rules!”

I’m just going to assume that Susan is keeping track of all her rules and that she will continue trying just as hard to keep me within them as I do to drag her into adventures where we just might need them!

Thought of the day: Love and appreciate your friends, and tell them so every chance you get!

The Dolphin Dance

My husband awakened me at 6:30 a.m. on New Years Day 2021. I don’t normally like to get up at that hour, but this time was different. We were anchored outside of No Name Harbor in the Bill Baggs Cape Florida State Park, and we were surrounded by dolphins!

The sun was still sleeping, yet under full moonshine more than two dozen Atlantic bottle nose dolphin danced around our boat. The water was motionless, and it seemed as if my husband and I were the only people awake in the whole world. Listening in the stillness, we could hear the dolphins surfacing to breathe. It’s a sort of blowing/puffing sound that seems loud to me when the dolphins are close!

I really like to watch dolphin swim and play, and when I’m in dolphin territory I’m always on dolphin watch. Dolphin live in pods of approximately 15 or so in the warm ocean waters. Jackpot! That’s where I like to hang out, too! And I like to swim-see, it’s almost like we belong together.

Our good friends, Steve and Susan, were joining us for the week in Biscayne Bay. In the days before our early morning dance with the dolphins the four of us saw one dolphin off the starboard side of the boat while anchoring in the same location. Susan was so excited to see the dolphin, and then disappointed when he disappeared so quickly. Teasing Susan, I asked her if she was expecting him to come closer and kiss her on the lips. I think she said “yes”. Yeah, that’s how I remember it. Unfortunately, Steve and Susan slept through the dolphin dance on New Years morning. After 30 minutes of enjoying the dolphins, I thought that I was going to have to kiss one for her! But, I kissed my husband instead, and thanked him for waking me up.

Which one of God’s created creatures made you smile today?

Angie Offshore!

Our boat, Liberty, has been across Lake Michigan many times, as well as back and forth to the Caribbean several times. Sans Angie. I’m always the one who flies in to meet my husband on the other side.

However, at 5 a.m. on December 26, 2020, I joined my husband on my first open ocean passage. Pre-trip, there was a little misunderstanding about whether I had said that I “would” crew the voyage, or whether I “wanted” to make the 72 mile trip. Either way, there I was, suiting up! It was a cool and breezy morning in West Palm Beach. I switched out my shorts and t-shirt for blue jeans and a sweatshirt. I was a little surprised when Bill suggested that I wear a rain jacket, but he was right, I really did need the windbreak. Even though the temperature was a normally-pleasant 73 degrees, that feels pretty cold in the windy open ocean, at least until the sun comes out!

I have a tendency toward sea sickness when the water is rough, so I took a ginger pill before we departed. I have found ginger pills to be helpful, so I try to remember to take one if I expect to be on rough water (although I never really plan to be on rough water)!

I am technically the First Mate, and I have several t-shirts to prove it courtesy of my daughter, but truth-be-told, I wasn’t really a lot of help to my husband on this passage. I spent half of the day concentrating on not getting sick and the other half looking around for dolphins. However, I did take the helm a few times while Bill tended to sheets and lines, checked the course, or fixed himself a sandwich. I intentionally didn’t eat or drink all day. Of course, I spent the next few days recovering from the dehydration, but at least I was successful in my pursuit of evading sea sickness on the passage.

My husband picked a great day to make this passage, the weather really couldn’t have been much more perfect. He is also very (maybe overly) safety conscious, so I knew all was going to be well. Offshore everyone has to wear life jackets and be tethered in. This was my first time in a tether. I didn’t do a lot of moving around the boat, so I was relatively unaffected, but even with the bit of a hassle tethering is a must on the open ocean.

I have to tell you about the best part of my day-several hours into the voyage, my 6 year old grandson texted to ask me if I was doing ok. He knew there was a possibility that I could be sea sick so he was checking up on me! How sweet is that? Grandkids are the greatest.

Following 12 hours of smooth sailing, while the sun was beginning to set, we found ourselves nearing our destination. Hello Key Biscayne!

We rounded the southern tip of Key Biscayne at sundown, then made our way up the west side of the island to anchor outside No Name Harbor.

Now, I’m not ready to admit that I’ll agree to make the passage back home to Jacksonville at the end of this adventure, but I’m almost ready to sail on over to Bimini from here!

The Neighboring Challenge

Matthew 22:36-40 pretty much sums up what God directs Christians to be doing with our short time on this planet. While teaching one day, a Pharisee asked Jesus, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law”? Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment, and the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All of the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments”.

Whoa! Don’t you kind of wish that Pharisee wasn’t so inquisitive? But, now that we know, we are without excuse. All that’s left is to get out there and start loving God and people, right?

At church last month, our pastor held up a cute yellow refrigerator magnet to illustrate a neighborhood. The magnet had a center house surrounded by one house on each side. He then preached on the Biblical perspective of neighboring. He concluded his sermon by challenging the church to actually get to know the people who literally surround us each and every day. The directive seemed simple enough: learn the names of our neighbors and find ways to love them. How hard can it be?

“Who is My Neighbor“ refrigerator magnet from church

It wasn’t that long ago that everyone knew all of their neighbors-their strengths/weakness, their likes/dislikes, their occupation, hobbies, and their needs. And, someone, often everyone, made it their business to meet each others’ needs. For a variety of reasons, most of us simply don’t do that today. Are we too proud? Too busy? Too scared? Or do we just not take Jesus at His word? It can’t be that we don’t understand Jesus’ words-they are pretty clear-so what gives?

My husband and I decided to take Pastor Steve’s challenge seriously. We couldn’t exactly use the yellow refrigerator magnet because our neighborhood looks a little different than that. We reside in an 186 slip marina. It’s kind of a big neighborhood! So we mapped out our dock on an Excel spreadsheet, then walked up and down the dock writing down the names of all of the boats on our dock-almost 50 boats!

That was the easy part. We were aware that we had lived here for 6 months, could recognize some of our neighbors, knew a few names, but very little else about them. Sure, we had excuses for not knowing our neighbors better-not everyone lived aboard so they weren’t here all the time, there were simply too many names to memorize, we were still too busy settling in, we should have put in a bigger effort sooner…we could come up with a lot of excuses!

Truth be told, we knew that we should know our neighbors better and be more available to them. But admitting to them, after all this time, that we don’t even know their names was going to be embarrassing! Humility, friendly smiles and cookies just might smooth things over, though. It’s true that homemade chocolate chip cookies are the only sure-fire way to butter people up, but my oven is tiny with a capital T, it was 95 degrees and we needed almost 100 cookies. Could Walmart cookies do the trick? The Walmart bakery big “decadent” cookies could! Armed with fifty dollars worth of delicious cookies carefully packaged two to a baggie, we headed out through the companionway (that’s boat-speak for “doorway”, I just threw that in here for authenticity)! (And don’t ask me how I knew the cookies were delicious.)

Starting with Phil and Sue, who we do know, was easy. They invited us into their air conditioned cabin cruiser, we chatted for a while about this project and made plans to meet later at the pool. They loved the cookies. Ok, so far so good!

We walked the dock, knocking on every boat. Admittedly, it was a little awkward, standing face to face asking the names of people who we have spent months with chatting in the pool or on the dock. We simply smiled, introduced ourselves, handed them a baggie or two of cookies, and explained that we were being intentional about getting to know our neighbors. Then we talked a bit about ourselves, our skills, offered to help out wherever we could, and asked them about themselves. This exchange turned out not to be nearly as difficult as we had imagined. Maybe it was the humility, friendly smiles, and the delicious cookies. However, most of our neighbors appeared to be so surprised to hear that we simply wanted to get to know them better (and that we were delivering cookies), that maybe they didn’t even realize we were asking for their names! After each visit, we jotted down their names on our spreadsheet before moving on to the next boat. One funny story-we knocked on one boat that we assumed was empty because we had never seen anyone on that boat, even though we walk by it several times every day. After one knock, up popped a lady. We were so surprised! It turns out that she and her husband live and work aboard. We had a very pleasant conversation and have even had a few short conversations since. No assumptions now-keep knocking on every boat! Of course, some people don’t actually live on their boats, so we don’t have the names of the owners of every boat yet, but we have most of them.

I assume that our neighbors are just like yours: pleasant, receptive to good cookies delivered with a smile, and happy to know that you care enough to get to know them.

I have to admit that memorizing everyone’s names has been difficult, but it has been so rewarding. I really enjoy addressing people by name. One very shy teen now even returns a smile and a whispered “hi” when addressed by name. My husband and I both continue to practice the names of everyone on our dock, as well as others that we see in the marina. Just yesterday a lady who I should know better stopped me to ask how I was doing because she hadn’t seen me in a week or so. I explained that my husband and I had been visiting family and friends in Nebraska. Then, even without cookies, I mustered up the courage to ask her name. Amanda. I was definitely humbled to know that Amanda had noticed that I hadn’t been around. (By the way, that’s a whole different lesson-people are watching, our Christian witness matters.) I won’t forget Amanda’s name, and I will definitely be seeking a closer relationship with her.

Our neighboring challenge will continue, as boaters come and go. In the meanwhile, we are enjoying our new friendships. Do you know all of your neighbors? If not, I can highly recommend cookies from Walmart to help you get started.

The Tomb of my Savior

I grew up going to church on Good Friday to observe The Stations of the Cross. The Stations of the Cross is a Catholic devotion depicting the passion of Jesus from condemnation to crucifixion. On my March 2020 pilgrimage to Israel with my church, I was not surprised that the exact location of His death burial and resurrection were disputed, but I was surprised to learn that there are actually two separate sites commemorating these events. Walking the Via Dolorosa (Jesus’s route to Golgotha), in Jerusalem, was surreal. It starts where Jesus was condemned by Pontius Pilot in what is now the Muslim section of the city, and ends in what is now the Christian section of the city in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. The streets were crowded and lined with merchants, which seemed distracting to me, but tradition tells that the streets were also lined with people on the day that Jesus carried His cross.

In 326 AD Queen Helena, the mother Constantine, visited the Holy Land to preserve the sites important to Christianity and to identify the site of the crucifixion and burial of Jesus. She located a site that she believed fulfilled the Gospel accounts of the crucifixion. Ten years later Constantine built a church on the site. That church was destroyed and rebuilt two times and is now the site of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

Ornate structure built over the site some believe to be the burial site of Jesus

Although the Church of the Holy Sepulchre was long accepted as the location of Christ’s death and resurrection, in 1842, another site was identified as more closely adhering to the Gospel accounts of Golgotha (the place of the skull).

The Garden Tomb is outside of the city, near a rocky slope bearing a likeness to a human skull.

This hill is close to Jerusalem, yet outside of its walls. Hebrews 13:12 holds that “Jesus suffered and died outside the city gates.” John 19:41 reads, “At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid”. An ancient wine press was discovered near the tomb, which indicates that there once was a garden at this site.

“Joseph took the body, wrapped it in a clean linen cloth and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock. He rolled a big stone over the entrance of the tomb and went away.” Matthew 27:59-60.

You can clearly see the stone trough where a large stone could be rolled over the entrance

Mark 15:43 reveals that Joseph of Armathea was a member of the Sanhedrin. Matthew 27:57 tells us that Joseph was a rich man. A rich man was likely to have a large tomb, very much like The Garden Tomb.

The Garden Tomb was peaceful. Serene. I could clearly see the skull in the side of the hill and I understand how the Scriptures line up with this being the very place where Jesus was crucified, died, was buried and rose again. Having been to both The Garden Tomb and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, I found it much easier to pray, be still, and draw near to a Jesus at The Garden Tomb. And that is, ultimately, the goal.

Our group wrapped up the day reading Scripture and taking Holy Communion.

Writing this article reminded me how much I enjoyed The Garden Tomb and how much I’d like to go back. My friend, Karen, was my roommate on this trip. It was Karen’s second trip to The Holy Land. Before we left I couldn’t understand why she want to go to Israel two years in a row-now I understand!

If you are considering a trip to The Holy Land, I’d love to talk with you about it. If you’ve already been to The Holy Land, I’d love to talk with you about it. Or if you’d just like to talk about Jesus or The Holy Land please contact me!

Connecting Covid Style

My plan to connect with my mom during the pandemic.

I find myself in the middle of September 2020, aching to hug my mom; yet thankful that she is safe.

My mom, Mary, moved into The Heritage at Fox Run last year. It was a great move for her. At Fox Run she knows that she is safe and free to be herself. She no longer feels the need to hide the fact that Alzheimer’s disease has stolen her ability drive, manage her own medications, or even cook a simple meal for herself. Not able to cook a simple meal. Wow, that must have really hit her hard. The widow of a policeman and mother of six kids, avid gardener and coupon master, mom had always been ready with a home cooked meal. Not to mention homemade bread and cinnamon rolls! Food was always ready and abundant for our family, and for anyone else who showed up at mealtime. We ate dinner as a family every night, and we often had friends join us at the table. Along the back of the table was a bench (as opposed to chairs); with a bench there was always room for at least a couple more! I still don’t know how mom always had enough food on the table even though she never knew how many extra people might show up.

Living at Fox Run, my mom is safely cared for by people who tirelessly fix her meals, do her laundry, clean her apartment, dispense her meds and provide entertaining activities.

My husband and I would take mom out to lunch every Saturday, then I would wash and style her hair. Every week she talked about how she loves to have her hair combed and how it always reminds her of how her dad would pay her a nickel to comb his hair when she was a child. That tickled me because her dad was all but bald by the time I knew him. My brother-in-law, Jay, would pick mom up on Saturday evenings, take her to Mass and then out to dinner. Other friends and family also visited often.

Enter the Covid 19 worldwide pandemic. On March 13, 2020, President Trump declared a national emergency. On March 18, the State of Iowa recommended that assisted living facilities restrict all visitors, except in very rare circumstances. Additionally, facilities were to curtail communal dining and group activities. Fox Run put forth a heroic effort to keep all residents safe. Unfortunately, this required restricting residents to their own two-room apartments when there were active cases of Covid in the facility.

I knew that the social isolation would be hard on mom, and hard on me. Two things I didn’t know: that this pandemic would still be keeping us apart six months later (with no end in sight), and that the social isolation would have such a profound effect on mom’s physical health. I really wish that I would have noticed her physical decline. Six months ago she was practically skipping down the hallway; now she walks slowly, stooped over, with a walker.

Following a day or two of feeling sorry for myself for not having foreseen mom’s physical decline, I decided it best to make a plan and move forward. (As if there were another option.) Knowing that Fox Run was taking care of my mom’s practical needs, my new plan was to be more involved in my mom’s spiritual, emotional, and physical exercise needs.

Step One: Prayer. My mom is Catholic, and I know that she says her prayers every morning and every night. However, having not attended Mass for six months, I figured that she was missing praying with others, so I started calling her every night to say her prayers with her. We say the Catholic prayers known as the Our Father and the Hail Mary together, exchange I love you’s, and say good night. It’s sweet. Last night she told me that she sleeps so much better after we say our prayers together.

Step Two: Emotional stimulation. In addition to the daily video calls that I have been making all along, I started writing to mom once a week. She often forgets when people call her, but if she physically has the letters, then she will be constantly reminded that her family loves her.

I also asked all of my family members to call, video call and/or write to mom. My husband and I helped our preschool grandsons make almost 20 cards like these. I mail one to mom every week.

When I visit my grandsons, we video call mom together and they sing and dance for her. When they sing, “Hello Mary Lou”, mom even sings along with them. It’s so fun!

Step Three: Physical stimulation. The times that residents were quarantined to their two-room apartments pretty much curtailed mom’s physical activity altogether. Unfortunately, I was slow to figure this out. But after speaking with my daughter Becky, an Occupational Therapist, she designed an exercise routine that I can do with mom every day via video call. The routine is designed to maintain range of motion and help her regain strength in her arms and legs to facilitate walking. We do these exercises together every day now. It only takes about 10 to 15 minutes, and we enjoy it.

No one knows how long this pandemic will plague us, keeping us “socially distanced” from our loved ones. However, teaming with Fox Run to ensure that all of mom’s needs are met, I believe that I will be hugging my mom, washing and fixing her hair, as well as taking her to her favorite restaurants before long. In the meantime, I’ll follow through with my new-found plan, and hug my grandchildren!

Everyone needs a little help in these difficult times. Who can you reach out to today?

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

It’s September 2020, and I find myself with an old-fashioned case of Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda. For those of you unfamiliar with this guilt-filled condition, Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda is the sorry state of realizing that you could have, should have, and would have done things differently if you had only used the sense the good Lord gave a goose.

My mom, Mary, has Alzheimer’s disease. No longer able to live safely on her own, she moved into the Heritage at Fox Run last year. This was a great move for her. This assisted living facility is run by a talented and caring group of people who tirelessly spend their days and nights enriching the lives of the residents and ensuring that all of their needs are met. My mom was loving the activities with her new friends, the nice ladies who clean her apartment, do her laundry, dispense her meds and fix her meals. She was thriving. What’s not to love?

The Covid 19 worldwide pandemic. That’s what’s not to love. On March 13, 2020, President Donald Trump issued The Proclamation on Declaring a National Emergency Concerning the Novel Coronavirus Disease (Covid 19) Outbreak, declaring a national state of emergency. On March 15, the CDC issued guidance recommending that gatherings be limited to 50 people or less. That seemed outrageous. Seriously? But that was only the beginning of progressive limitations that would become the tightest restrictions on the liberty of the American people in my mother’s lifetime. All but “essential” workers were sent home, businesses shuttered-some of which would never reopen, all schools closed-some of which have not yet reopened for the fall semester. Hundreds of thousands of people lost their jobs. Churches were not considered “essential”, and we were told to “social distance” from our seniors and other vulnerable people. Unimaginable, huh? I can’t imagine living six months without a hug, but that is my mom’s current reality. On Wednesday, March 18, 2020, the State of Iowa recommended that all assisted living facilities restrict all visitors, except in very rare circumstances. Additionally, facilities were to told cancel all group activities and communal dining. And, as if this wasn’t bad enough, residents were actually restricted to their own two room apartments for periods of time when the facility had an active case of COVID 19.

As weeks turned into months, and the months turned into more months, I could see that the social isolation was really taking a toll on mom emotionally. Her cognitive decline was alarming. What I couldn’t see on our daily video calls was how much this isolation was affecting her physical health. Inside of four months, my mom declined from practically skipping down the hallway to slowly shuffling along the wall, stooped over, balancing herself on the handrails.

By month six (for crying out loud, when will this virus just go away) mom started falling, necessitating numerous trips to the Emergency Room. She is supposed to be using a walker now, but her Alzheimer’s causes her to forget to use it, which leads to more falls…it’s a vicious circle.

I send my mom her favorite peach tea (by the gallons!), ice cream bars, and the good chocolate cupcakes from the bakery, and try to tell myself that it helps. I call every day, and write to her every week, and hope that it makes a difference. I know that I would like those things if our positions were reversed. But deep down I know the truth, what I would really be needing most of all is hugs from my grandchildren. Grandchildren are the very best thing that God ever made!

Now, to the Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda. More emotional stimulation, and daily exercise-ding, ding, ding-besides prayer, my mom needs more emotional and physical exercise if she stands any chance of outliving this detestable virus and the physical restrictions that accompany it. And coming out on the other side alive appears to be the only way that mom will get hugs from her children and grandchildren on this side of heaven.

So, in classic Angie style, I waisted a few more days feeling bad and blaming myself for not taking action to ensure daily stimuli for mom starting way back in March. And, don’t get me wrong here, I secretly also blamed my friends and family who are bona fide health care professionals and Coulda foreseen mom’s rapid decline. If I Woulda used the sense the good Lord gave a goose…

Ok, pity party over, it’s time to make a plan and set it into motion the way I Shoulda done six months ago.

Step One: Prayer. My mom is Catholic, and I know that she says her prayers every morning and every night. However, six months without attending Mass, I figure she must be missing praying with others, so I started calling her every night at bedtime to say her prayers with her. We say the Catholic prayers known as the Our Father and the Hail Mary together, exchange I love you’s and say good night. It takes about five minutes, and it’s so sweet; it kind of reminds me of bedtime when I was a child.

Step Two: Emotional stimulation. In addition to daily video calls and weekly letters from me, I decided that mom would like to receive video calls and mail from my grandkids. I’m telling ya, my grandkids are cute. So I asked my teenage granddaughters to call or write to my mom. Hopefully they’ll do both! And I helped my preschool grandsons color and write cards to mom. When we are together, I video call mom and have the boys sing and dance for her. When they sing “Hello Mary Lou”, she even sings along! I don’t foresee an award winning trio act here, but it is fun to watch!

Step Three: Physical stimulation. Before the pandemic restrictions, mom was walking with her friends on a daily basis and going to exercise classes with the group. When those activities were curtailed, mom pretty much stopped walking (her apartment only has two rooms), and she stopped exercising altogether. My daughter, Becky, is an Occupational Therapist. She showed me exercises that I could do with mom every day via video call. The exercises are designed to maintain range of motion and help her regain strength in her arms and legs to facilitate walking. This only takes 10 or 15 minutes a day and we enjoy doing the exercises together.

So, there you have it, my Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda. Beating myself up for not taking on more responsibility for my mother at the beginning of all this craziness isn’t going to help. And taking into consideration the words of a wise 5-year-old, “well, there’s nothing you can do about it”. I’ll just move forward with my new-found plan, tweaking it as necessary, and hug my grandkids while I have the chance.

Now that you know mine, what is your Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda?

Send Relief to Puerto Rico

Lifespring Church January 2018 Send Relief team in Puerto Rico

On September 20, 2017, Maria struck Puerto Rico as a Category 4 hurricane with sustained winds of 155 miles per hour. Maria devastated the island leaving nearly everyone without electricity, running water, cellphone service, or access to food sources. The storm, the worst to hit the island in more than 80 years, caused an estimated $95 billion in damages leaving most people homeless or nearly so. Even before Maria, Puerto Rico already suffered from high unemployment and poverty rates, along with many suffering from food insecurity.

Puerto Rico is an island territory of the United States, located in the Caribbean Sea, known for white sand beaches and beautiful blue seas.

Bill and I love Puerto Rico. We had taken several vacations there early on in our marriage, both alone and with our friends Tim and Kelly. I have spent hours upon hours on Isla Verde Beach, under a coconut tree, reading Nicholas Sparks romance novels. Good times-I highly recommend it!

Bill and I also have friends who have family in Puerto Rico. Crystal and Jonathan couldn’t get ahold of some of their family members for two weeks. Thankfully, they were all physically well, but very busy dealing with repairing their homes, as well as lack of communication and clean water.

I first heard about Send Relief when our church, LifeSpring Church in Bellevue, Nebraska, showed a short clip during a Sunday morning service in late 2017. Send Relief is a ministry of the North American Mission Board. Send Relief focuses on meeting needs and changing lives by strengthening communities, responding to crises, caring for refugees, protecting children and families, and fighting human trafficking. The clip showed the desperate need for Jesus’ hands and feet on the ground in Puerto Rico for the hurricane recovery effort. I shared with my husband that I felt called to help in Puerto Rico. Of course, it’s “easier” to send a check. I’ve done that many times before. But this time was different. I really believed that Jesus wanted me to actually go to Puerto Rico. Yikes! The evening news was constantly showing the absolute devastation of the entire island. Hard, physical work I can handle; lack of clean water…I don’t know about that!

The following week I confessed my thoughts to my Bible study group. As it turned out, our pastor, Steve Holdaway, personally knows the pastor in charge of Send Relief (of course). Before I knew it he had rounded up a group and we were all set for a January mission trip to Puerto Rico!

Send Relief had purchased a campus outside the capital city of San Juan. The buildings were basic, but a loud generator provided the much appreciated electricity! We had water for showers in our dormitories, although it was not hot or potable. Volunteers at the campus spent hours every day treating water to provide for our drinking needs. I just kept thinking that it was four months since the storm and almost no one had electricity or safe running water. Wow. That’s a long time.

Every morning we all met in the common area for prayer and a devotional, followed by breakfast. We were then separated into teams and given our assignments for the day, along with a van driver. We always ate a sack lunch on the worksite, and returned everyday just before dark to gather together for dinner and prayer.

Lacking an official distribution system, the government of Puerto Rico turned to the local churches to identify the need and distribute the donated food and water.

On Sunday our team attended a local church service. Following the service, we helped serve a hot meal and then handed out boxes of food and water to the congregants and others in the community. The local pastor explained to us that no one in the area currently has the means to cook a hot meal, but they know they can come to the church for hot meals.

Worship service and food distribution at a local church

La Perla is a neighborhood located outside the walls of Old San Juan. Historically, it was built by and for slaves who were not allowed to live inside the city. Later, it was occupied by the poor and came to be known as a dangerous place. La Perla is now struggling through the restoration process. We enjoyed our afternoon grilling hot dogs for the community and encouraging the local church.

View of La Perla and the Atlantic Ocean from the walls of Old San Juan

One entire day was spent roofing and painting homes.

The inexperienced, yet willing roofing crew

The entire grounds of this church and neighboring homes were covered in limbs and debris. All hands on deck!

This house is owned by a member of the Puerto Rico National Guard. Called to active duty immediately after the hurricane, he had to leave his wife and small children behind in this damaged home. His wife was so appreciative of our assistance.

This is an island, so, of course, we did squeeze one afternoon at the beach!

Has Puerto Rico recovered from Hurricane Maria? Well, no, to add insult to injury, Puerto Rico experienced a 6.4 earthquake on January 7, 2020. Following Hurricane Maria, Puerto Rico suffered the longest blackout in U.S. history, leaving most without electricity for the better part of a year. Running water has mostly been restored, albeit with frequent interruptions in service, and the water quality is still questioned by some. And, of course, then came the Covid 19 pandemic. Three years later, with the death toll at 2975, thousands of homes still uninhabitable, and even more jobs gone, possibly forever, hundreds of thousands of Puerto Rican’s (who are U. S. citizens) have fled to the mainland. But still, those who remain carry on.

How can you help? First and foremost you can pray. You can donate or apply to go on a mission trip through Send Relief, or the organization of your choice. A fun way would be to spend your tourist dollars there by taking your next vacation in beautiful Puerto Rico! When you go, don’t miss the Castillo San Felipe del Morro, El Yunque National Forest, and the bioluminescent bay kayak tour. I also highly recommend spending hours upon hours under a coconut tree on Isla Verde Beach with a good book!

Where Jesus Walked

I had long wanted to visit Israel. The obstacles are formidable-danger, distance, and dollars, to name a few. There always seems to be turmoil between Israel and Palestine. Bombs bursting in air never seemed like a vacation to me. Truth be told, my fear always won out.

In 2019, Steve Holdaway, pastor at Lifespring Church in Bellevue, Nebraska, announced that he would be leading a tour to The Holy Land in February 2020. No second guessing myself; I’m in! This time it is Faith over Fear! My overwhelming objective was to walk where Jesus walked. I mean my-bare-feet-on-the-ground where my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ walked on Earth 2000 years ago. And I did it!

Of course, we know that Jesus was born in Bethlehem, and spent the majority of his 33 or so years on Earth in what we now know as Israel. Scripture records many places where Jesus was known to have spent time, but many of those places are fairly large. For example, Luke 22:39 records that Jesus and his disciples went to the Mount of Olives following The Last Supper. Matthew 26:36-56 records that Jesus went to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. The Mount of Olives is still, to this very day, the Mount of Olives. And the Garden of Gethsemane is still the Garden of Gethsemane. However, they are both fairly large tracts of land. Although I believe that Jesus was there, today no one can be certain ‘exactly’ where Jesus stood on the mount or in the garden. Contrast that to the very narrow road that connects the Mount of Olives to the Garden of Gethsemane. This road has always been the road and is most certainly the way Jesus walked between the two, many times. I was honored to walk this road barefoot.

Road between the Mount of Olives and the Garden of Gethsemane

The beautiful gold dome that shines brightly in many pictures of Jerusalem is known as the Dome of the Rock. The Muslims captured Jerusalem in 639 and built The Dome of the Rock on top of the Temple Mount. The Muslims regard it as one of their three most holy places. Non-Muslims are not allowed in the Dome of the Rock. However, the Western Wall, otherwise known as the Wailing Wall, is open to the public. The Western Wall is a part of the wall Herod built around the west side of the temple. Non-Muslims come here to pray because it is the closest that they are allowed to get to the site of the Holy of Holies on the Temple Mount. The Southern Steps were the main entrance to the Temple Mount at the time of Jesus. Jesus walked these steps many, many times.

Luke 2:41-52 records that Jesus visited the temple for the Festival of the Passover with his parents at age 12. After finding that Jesus had not returned home with them, his parents returned to Jerusalem and found Jesus teaching in the temple courts. When questioned by this parents, he replied, “Didn’t you know that I would be in my Father’s house?” This same passage records that Jesus’ parents, Joseph and Mary, “made the pilgrimage to Jerusalem every Passover.” Although the Torah only required men to attend, one can assume that Mary and Joseph took their children to Jerusalem with them every year.

The Apostle John wrote that Jesus appeared at the temple courts “where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them.” (John 8:2)

In Luke 19:45-46, the Apostle Luke states, “When Jesus entered the temple courts, he began to drive out those who were selling. “It is written,” he said to them, “My house will be a house of prayer, but you have made it a den of robbers.”

The Bible records many, many more occasions when Jesus went to the temple. The Southern Steps were the entry way to the Temple Mount. Although they are over 2000 years old, and some have been repaired, a good many of the steps are the original steps where we can be certain Jesus, walked, sat, and taught. I was thrilled to walk barefoot, sit, and learn more about Jesus on these very steps!

As a Christian, I am not bound to live under the laws God gave the Jewish people in the Old Testament, one of which required pilgrimages to Jerusalem. Because of the life, death and resurrection of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I live by His grace. And he is so, so good to me!

I am forever thankful for the opportunity to learn more about the State of Israel, the people of Israel, and life of Jesus as he walked this Earth.

One serious thing I learned: The Jewish people are very deliberate about living out the laws of their religion.

One fun fact: Camels are very tall.

One “good to know”: Israelis do not drink iced tea!